Lyrics that Mean Something to Me ~ Thursday

Kelly Clarkson ~ Breakaway

Because of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself

Cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did,

You fell so hard

I've learned the hard way

To never let it get that far

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake

A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

I watched you die

I heard you cry every night in your sleep

I was so young

You should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else

You just saw your pain

And now I cry in the middle of the night

For the same damn thing

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I try my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you

I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

Because of you

I am afraid

Because of you

Because of you



Things you won't see at our wedding...

Rainbow Brights Parents

Marilyn Manson's Son

Someone needs AA

Yea, I don't know

Deep  Deep West

5 seasons; winter, spring, summer, fall & breaking up?

Why does it seem like people break.   up in groups? This couple breaks up and then next thing you know another couple breaks up. It almost starts to seem like a domino effect.  And when it's people close to you, you start to feel helpless.  You want to help and take all their pain away.  But unfortunately that isn't possible.  All you can do is be there for them and listen to them.

Sometimes things work themselves out and other times, our loved ones aren't so lucky.  Some people heal faster than others. People all cope differently but we all need someone to lean on.

Planning a Wedding is like planning for a stress test :)

The only difference is, is that at the end you get to change your name. But even that takes forever and you have to jump thru 10 million hoops to do it. Unless you are of course the man. Which once again, you get off easy. Who the hell knew, or remembers, how much planning goes into a wedding? No one. And how far in advance you need to start? You just don't think about it. You think, hey it's not for 6 months...well sweetheart, 6 months is really not that far away. Places may be booked. Things take time to order, or get printed. Damn, if you are someone who made lists before this, you are gonna start making lists for your lists. It's just insane.

Who's gonna wear what? Who are you gonna invite? Date? Place? Wedding party? Invites? Food? Favors? Theme? And then the 50 things that you didn't even think about until you start answering all these questions. Yeah, it's like playing whack a mole. And you slowly start wondering if you should just run away and get married. But then wait, people will be disappointed that they weren't a part of it. Well, then we can have just a reception. Yeah, that's a great idea. Let's do that. But wait, our mothers. Children getting married is important to their mothers if no one else. Well do you just go to the court house and just bring the mom's? WTF???

Just realize you aren't gonna make everyone happy. Do what you want to do and make you both happy. Make sure you do what you want and that's all that matters. But even then you are gonna questions your self. You are gonna have to cut corners because you are part of the poor club but you can still have a good time. It doesn't have to be a huge fancy wedding. You aren't fancy, romantic, center of attention people. So go with what's fun and your style. Pig over a fire if you want. Pony rides, slip and slide. Horse Shoes, Country Western dancing. Whatever you want. All that matters is that you will be together, forever. And that the people that you love and that love you will be there with you. 

They are called your ex just like it's called your past

No one gets into a relationship thinking "This is only gonna last a few weeks and then I'm out." And most of the time when it ends, one of you, if not both of you are devastated. The sadness can last for a few weeks or you can carry it for years. Some people constantly carry with them doubts or "what if's". What if you gave them that one last chance? What if I just held out a little longer? Maybe he would have changed. You punish yourself with these constant thoughts and never fully move on. You can't really move on until you get your answers. Or atleast get confirmation that the decision you made was the right one.

Sometimes when a relationship comes to an end, you can be so blinded by anger or resentment that you just have no feeling at all. And you question yourself as to why this isn't bothering you. Why don't you feel bad that he's crying? Why don't you want to hug him back? Why can't you say I love you? Why don't you want to give it another try? Why? Is it because you constantly gave them the chance to fix things? You could be tired of your feelings being ignored and over time you have just become numb. Once you get to that point there is no coming back. You are emotionally bankrupt and that's a scary place to be. 

You almost get to the point that during the break up, the separation of your lives, everything that you have intertwined together over the years, that you feel sorry for the other person. Not enough to change your mind, or to the point where you want to hug them and say you're sorry. But feel bad that they still have no clue what they did wrong. Feel bad that they think that they did nothing wrong. Feel bad that they think they are perfect. Feel bad that they will never figure it out. But for some unknown reason you will still try to be civil, even though he will cuss and name call and get evil. You will not lower yourself. You will still try to make the whole process painless and easy. You will try to give him an easy start in his new life because that's just how you are.

Yet he will continue to make you miserable and do everything in his power to punish you. Still not seeing that he is doing anything wrong. Still accusing you of being the problem. All the while you are the one who left, he was the one begging you to stay. 

Just remember, he is an Ex for a reason. You made the Right decision. And it's called the Past because it's in the Past!

Siblings...Ugh!!!

Where do you start. Most of us can't stand our brothers and sisters when we are growing up. We fight, scream, kick, punch and try to hurt each other as much as we can when we are little. Why? Who knows. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? Fighting for attention, pissed off that the other one is alive. You really don't need a reason to go off when you're young. You will rat each other out for the littlest thing and help each other get into trouble. As long as you clean up the blood, your parents don't want to hear about it!

If you are lucky, as you grow up you may start to form a tolerable relationship with your brothers and sister. Be able to sit in the same room without punching and kicking. Have a conversation at the table without name calling and screaming. You may actually agree on things and maybe even watch tv together. Separate ends of the room of course. You pay take rides from each other to the mall or movies. You will need each other and out of necessity, you will kind of get along.

Maybe, just maybe, as you become a young adult you will become friends with your brother and sister. Crazy to think, but it may happen. Hang out together. Call each other for advice. Go out to dinner. Plan a trip to see the parents together. Rely on each other. You don't even realize it's even happening. Sometimes this won't happen until there is an event in your life. Someone gets married. Someone has a baby. Graduates from college. Some day you may even need each other so much, you don't know what you did with out them. You come to rely on each other just to get through the day. You need to know they are there for you. You and them have been through the same situation and can relate. And that will bring you to a level of closeness that couldn't have been achieved without that tragedy.

But like everything in life, these relationships usually have a cycle also. And the day will come when these relationships will start to fade. They each will fall into their own level. Ones you were super close with, they will start to slip away. Ones you were so so with, they might remain the same, but seem strained. Ones you were getting through things with, they might seem to feel like you are losing them again. And it might take another tragedy to get you back together. But you are brother and sister. And hopefully that bond will keep you always and forever in each others hearts.