Planning a Wedding is like planning for a stress test :)

The only difference is, is that at the end you get to change your name. But even that takes forever and you have to jump thru 10 million hoops to do it. Unless you are of course the man. Which once again, you get off easy. Who the hell knew, or remembers, how much planning goes into a wedding? No one. And how far in advance you need to start? You just don't think about it. You think, hey it's not for 6 months...well sweetheart, 6 months is really not that far away. Places may be booked. Things take time to order, or get printed. Damn, if you are someone who made lists before this, you are gonna start making lists for your lists. It's just insane.

Who's gonna wear what? Who are you gonna invite? Date? Place? Wedding party? Invites? Food? Favors? Theme? And then the 50 things that you didn't even think about until you start answering all these questions. Yeah, it's like playing whack a mole. And you slowly start wondering if you should just run away and get married. But then wait, people will be disappointed that they weren't a part of it. Well, then we can have just a reception. Yeah, that's a great idea. Let's do that. But wait, our mothers. Children getting married is important to their mothers if no one else. Well do you just go to the court house and just bring the mom's? WTF???

Just realize you aren't gonna make everyone happy. Do what you want to do and make you both happy. Make sure you do what you want and that's all that matters. But even then you are gonna questions your self. You are gonna have to cut corners because you are part of the poor club but you can still have a good time. It doesn't have to be a huge fancy wedding. You aren't fancy, romantic, center of attention people. So go with what's fun and your style. Pig over a fire if you want. Pony rides, slip and slide. Horse Shoes, Country Western dancing. Whatever you want. All that matters is that you will be together, forever. And that the people that you love and that love you will be there with you. 

Daytona 500, Elimination Chamber, And getting engaged??? Craziness

This weekend was the official beginning to the Nascar season. The Daytona 500! The biggest race of the year. This is the 10 year anniversary of Dale Sr. passing away due to a crash on the last lap of this very race. Even the people who disliked him as a driver, miss him dearly. The ceremonies before each race are always the same. They have a live concert at the track, pre-race interviews, comparisons to last year. We all check where our drivers are starting, how they did in practice and where they are in the points standing. We all make our predictions based on if it's a road course, a short track, or a long track. People who aren't race fans will never understand us and it's pointless to try and explain it. 


This years 500 had a record breaking 16 cautions which took up over a third of the race!!! There were some nasty wrecks. A lot of the field ended the race with a lot less car than they started the race. Or at least they had a lot of tape holding it together. Some cars of top notch drivers were out early. They had a new strategy this year that had a lot of engines over heating due to lack of air getting to the engine and the higher RPM's. Tandem drafting. It's amazing when they all pair up in teams of 2 how much faster those cars can go. But when things go wrong, they go really wrong.


But this years race was definitely interesting. A rookie, who turned 20 the day before, won the Dayton 500. He doesn't even have a full ride! But he did great. He missed victory lane which of course they showed all day today during his interviews. How did he celebrate? He's not old enough to drink??? It was definitely not how a lot of the drivers wanted to start their season but 15 car pile ups will do that. But that's what next Sunday is for!

Now the WWE Elimination Chamber definitely can't be described to someone who hasn't seen it before. All I can say is, I'm so glad Cena won and that CM Punk got his butt whooped! I wish that Santino had pulled out the double Cobra to keep the Tag Team Titles but hey can't have everything. Unfortunately The Miz beat The King. And of course Edge won his chamber match and Christian reappeared and came to the rescue when freaking Del Rio decided to butt in. I still wish HHH had appeared but no such luck. But then tonight on Raw the Dead Man and HHH reappeared!!! So that was awesome. But neither of them said a word. What the hell is that??? If you don't know WWE sign language, you aren't gonna know what the heck they said. We will see.


It was a very eventful weekend including having Monday off. Unfortunately now I have to go back to work :(

They are called your ex just like it's called your past

No one gets into a relationship thinking "This is only gonna last a few weeks and then I'm out." And most of the time when it ends, one of you, if not both of you are devastated. The sadness can last for a few weeks or you can carry it for years. Some people constantly carry with them doubts or "what if's". What if you gave them that one last chance? What if I just held out a little longer? Maybe he would have changed. You punish yourself with these constant thoughts and never fully move on. You can't really move on until you get your answers. Or atleast get confirmation that the decision you made was the right one.

Sometimes when a relationship comes to an end, you can be so blinded by anger or resentment that you just have no feeling at all. And you question yourself as to why this isn't bothering you. Why don't you feel bad that he's crying? Why don't you want to hug him back? Why can't you say I love you? Why don't you want to give it another try? Why? Is it because you constantly gave them the chance to fix things? You could be tired of your feelings being ignored and over time you have just become numb. Once you get to that point there is no coming back. You are emotionally bankrupt and that's a scary place to be. 

You almost get to the point that during the break up, the separation of your lives, everything that you have intertwined together over the years, that you feel sorry for the other person. Not enough to change your mind, or to the point where you want to hug them and say you're sorry. But feel bad that they still have no clue what they did wrong. Feel bad that they think that they did nothing wrong. Feel bad that they think they are perfect. Feel bad that they will never figure it out. But for some unknown reason you will still try to be civil, even though he will cuss and name call and get evil. You will not lower yourself. You will still try to make the whole process painless and easy. You will try to give him an easy start in his new life because that's just how you are.

Yet he will continue to make you miserable and do everything in his power to punish you. Still not seeing that he is doing anything wrong. Still accusing you of being the problem. All the while you are the one who left, he was the one begging you to stay. 

Just remember, he is an Ex for a reason. You made the Right decision. And it's called the Past because it's in the Past!

Driving during the day is possible...Sunglasses OMG!

It's so dang frustrating. Everyday, the same thing. People are shocked that there is sun, in the sky. Say it ain't so! Yes people, we have to drive into the sun. I know, it sucks. But if you are going to drive during the day time hours please buy some sunglasses. Maybe, just maybe there won't be so much traffic. So many people jamming on their breaks. Slowing down because they can't see. I believe this is why the cars came with visors. It's absolutely ridiculous. Alaska gives residents $1,000.00 every year, Conneticut should give residents a pair of sunglasses!

Not to mention when it rains people act like the flood gates have opened and they don't remember that water does move when you drive. Oh no, what if I get stuck! It's water, your car won't melt. You have wind shield wipers so it won't t stay on your window, you can still see out. And if you can't drive in rain, hand over your license. You don't need to drive 5 miles per hour. Caution is good, but driving so you aren't getting passed by someone on a skateboard is safer. If it's raining in the summer, I'm pretty sure black ice isn't gonna be an issue. If it's sprinkling and you are nervous, pull over and slap yourself.

Oh and don't get me started on people who drive in snow! Or don't drive in snow I should say. It's snow. I understand driving very slow if it's a blizzard and you can't see. I don't understand people who live in CT and drive sports cars in the winter. I'm sorry, but you deserve to be stuck on the side of the road. Get 4 wheel drive or stay home. Don't get the rest of us stuck or hurt. And for those of us who live in the valley, they should give us credit towards buying SUV's. Living in the valley means we drive up AND down hills to work AND home from work. There is no, well I drove up hill to get here so at least it's all down hill going home. LOL. That would be nice. It's also means when all this crap melts, only the people with the SUV's are getting through most streets.

The moral of the rant is, you live in CT. The weather is the weather. The crappy drivers are the crappy drivers. The horrible streets haven't changed and the sun is always gonna be there. We have highways with names like the Mixmaster and pot holes that hide cars. So buy sunglasses, get 4 wheel drive and learn how to freaking drive or stay the hell out of my way!

Siblings...Ugh!!!

Where do you start. Most of us can't stand our brothers and sisters when we are growing up. We fight, scream, kick, punch and try to hurt each other as much as we can when we are little. Why? Who knows. Isn't that what you are supposed to do? Fighting for attention, pissed off that the other one is alive. You really don't need a reason to go off when you're young. You will rat each other out for the littlest thing and help each other get into trouble. As long as you clean up the blood, your parents don't want to hear about it!

If you are lucky, as you grow up you may start to form a tolerable relationship with your brothers and sister. Be able to sit in the same room without punching and kicking. Have a conversation at the table without name calling and screaming. You may actually agree on things and maybe even watch tv together. Separate ends of the room of course. You pay take rides from each other to the mall or movies. You will need each other and out of necessity, you will kind of get along.

Maybe, just maybe, as you become a young adult you will become friends with your brother and sister. Crazy to think, but it may happen. Hang out together. Call each other for advice. Go out to dinner. Plan a trip to see the parents together. Rely on each other. You don't even realize it's even happening. Sometimes this won't happen until there is an event in your life. Someone gets married. Someone has a baby. Graduates from college. Some day you may even need each other so much, you don't know what you did with out them. You come to rely on each other just to get through the day. You need to know they are there for you. You and them have been through the same situation and can relate. And that will bring you to a level of closeness that couldn't have been achieved without that tragedy.

But like everything in life, these relationships usually have a cycle also. And the day will come when these relationships will start to fade. They each will fall into their own level. Ones you were super close with, they will start to slip away. Ones you were so so with, they might remain the same, but seem strained. Ones you were getting through things with, they might seem to feel like you are losing them again. And it might take another tragedy to get you back together. But you are brother and sister. And hopefully that bond will keep you always and forever in each others hearts.

Things people think they understand...but ya, NO!

There are numerous situations that can occur in a person's life. Situations that others will never go through. Things that other people will never understand. Things that people can't relate to. But, those people who don't understand, who can't relate, who have no idea what it's like, amazingly enough they seem to think that they have the right to pass judgement.

If you are a person who has gone through any of these situations and you are sitting beside a person who hasn't and are listening to them pass judgement or make comments, it's very hard to keep quiet. It's very hard to explain what that person is going through, what they are thinking, why they do what they do.

People who have severe migraines, who really have severe migraines, can definately relate to others in the same situation. The sensitivity to light, that if light gets through and you see it you just want to vomit every where. The sensitivity to sound, and every noise is so loud that it makes your brain rattle. Even if there is no sound, your ears are thumping on their own anyway. You get so hot it's like you are spiking a fever. It feels like instant death. But if you have grown up with migraines you have learned how to deal with them and how you need to deal with them right away. And if you need to, you know how to keep functioning if possible with them.
But what's more frustrating than anything is hearing others saying that they've had a horrible headache and still drove to work. I'm sorry, but a HORRIBLE headache, is not a MIGRAINE. A mirgraine is pulling over every 3 or 4 minutes to vomit.

People who have a weight problem and have been battling it all their lives have to  deal with people who think that all they have to do is not eat as much and exercise. Maybe for some people it's that easy. For other's it's not. But you try and get that through to someone who doesn't understand how this can be a real issue. Food can have to do with mental issues, family problems, abuse. There can be alot behind it. But some people can be so simple minded. It can be so frustrating to deal with them. Losing weight requires a lot of work, a lot of patience, not just from yourself, but from your family and your support system. Yeah, you need a support system. You need money to buy healthier food, and whoever tells you that losing weight isn't expensive is full of crap!

People who have been in abusive relationships. These relationships come in many many forms. And all sorts of relationships can be abusive. Family relationships, friendships and your relationship with your spouse. It can be mental, emotional or physical. And those who haven't been in such situations think why did they stay, why didn't they just leave right away? Ummm, because they were scared? They were emotional beaten down? They had no where to go? Do I need to continue? Some people never get out. They suffer forever. That's what their kids learn. Some end up in shelters, some die. Others get out eventually but only after years of waiting for the perfect moment. But it's never okay to judge.

Okay, I think I said my peace.

My best friend - Boomster

I have never liked dogs. And I mean NEVER! I hated them as a kid. Was chased by them. I had a boxer jump up on me and almost push me down the stairs. I've just never liked dogs. I've always been a cat person. Probably because cats take care of themselves. You can leave them alone for the weekend. They come around when they want to be bothered. Just make sure they have food and water. Clean out the litter box every now and then and you're good to go.

My brother and I had a cat when we were little. Patches. She was awesome. She just stayed to herself. For her entire life, she was a loner. She had 2 different times when she was very sick. Both times a vitamin shot brought her back to life. She made it until she was 18 years old. At the end all she did was cry and it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But I couldn't let her be in pain any longer. Thank goodness I had my mother to take her to the vet because there was no way I could do it.

The one thing that made it easier to get through was my puppy. Yes, I said my puppy. A few months before my ex-husband had a brilliant idea to buy me a dog for Christmas. He got it from a breeder in Kansas. And we picked him up at the airport. Once I saw the puppy, it was love at first site. To be honest, I still don't like dogs. But I love Boomer with all my heart. I couldn't image life without him. He's my best friend, my baby. I talk to him all the time. He's always there for me. He has so many nicknames. I'm pretty sure the only time he's actually called Boomer is when he's in trouble.

He's always excited to see me, even if I just went to the bathroom. If he was in trouble he's still happy to see me. If I hurt him by accident, all he wants to do is lick me to show me it's ok. If he bites me while we are playing by accident, he licks me forever to say he's sorry. He just wants to cuddle and protect me. I'm his life and he is mine. He knows when I don't feel good and stays by myside and if I don't get out of bed all day, he stays right there with me.

He is always looking to make sure that I'm safe and it's my job to protect him from what he can't protect himself. I started that when I left my ex-husband. We are still dealing with Boomsters anxiety when he hears noises. And now he takes medication when there is gonna be thunder. He will probably always deal with this. But I will make sure he is never hurt again. He helped me get through leaving Doug, and I'm gonna make him feel safe.

My puppy is the bomb! I couldn't imagine life without him. Love you Boomster!

Super Bowl Sunday...Pretty Much Says It All

Sports...Sports...Sports. What can I say. There are things that people get so passionate about that when they talk to others they can get so heated very quickly. Some people can't talk about politics, some people can't talk about religion. For others, it's sports. But now you got to break it down to seasons. Some people have teams for every sport. Others just have football and baseball. Some have football and basketball. Some baseball and hockey. Some hockey and golf. You see the numerous possibilites.

Some folks are just watchers of the sports. They may have a spouse or significant other who watches so they watch along. Over time they have a team they like, but they don't get that love for the game or team. The love where they will get into a heated conversation, almost fighting over a disagreement. They won't stay home because the game is on, not answer the phone, turn up the tv. Spend money on tickets and say it's for the love of the game.

Some people love sports that others don't consider a sport. And then get upset trying to explain to people how difficult it is to be a Nascar driver or a Dragster driver. And that it's not as simple as just turning left or going straight down the track. You get irritated easily at other peoples irrogance.

You have your famous rivalaries that will never go away. In baseball it's Yankee's Vs. Redsox. I'm a Yankee's fan. And both sets of fans are very passionate and it can get nasty when they are playing each other. And I mean going to the hospital nasty.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday. People have been planning parties for today. It's D day! What all football fans have been waiting fan. Even if you aren't a fan of either Green Bay or Pittsburgh, you will go to a party and watch the game.  Heck, you most likely will go to one even if you don't like football. I don't like either team, but I'm realistic and my teams aren't going anytime soon. But I want Green Bay to beat Pittsburgh badly!

But more than the junk food and loud football game, I'm glad that today got here and that tomorrow is Monday. I'm glad for one HUGE reason. I'm glad because it means football is over. Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed it while it was here. It gave me a way to pass the time. A way to pass the time until BASEBALL SEASON! Heck ya baby!!! Calling all Pitchers and Catchers...Get your butts to Florida...It's time to get business started.

I can't wait for life to get back to normal. Baseball 6 out of 7 nights. Stressfull, crazy nights watching the pitcher struggle or have a spot on night. Talking during the day to other fans about who might win, on your team or their's. Who's hurt and who did great the night before. Who was sucking wind and who needs more time in the bull pen. Is Cano golden glove again this year? Tex can never be taken off 1st base. Jeter needs to have a better year. CC is still #1...And unfortunately the Sox are gonna be competition this year.

But for now...Go Packers!

If I ever needed a team of Commando's to protect me...No I'm not kidding.

I don't sleep much, so I think about a lot of stupid crap. What if I ever needed to put together my own crew of people to protect me in some insane situation? Every now and then, in conversation, Mike and I will be like "that's a guy you would want on your Commando Squad". Of course, these are characters in a movie or on television. Not the Actor as himself in real life. It would be very interesting to see who everyone would have in their "Commando Squad". 

Here is my Squad...(in no particular order)

~ Jack Bauer (24) - The man is pretty much capable of anything. Even bit the neck off of a man.

~ Tig (Sons of Anarchy) - Seen him take a bite out of a man or two during a scuffle.

~ Michael Weston (Burn Notice) Ummm...He's a Spy and can take on any identity. Hello!

~ Jason Bourne (Bourne Trilogy) He has training he's not even aware of.

~ Sgt. Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon's) He pretty much has nothing to live for.

~ Det. John McClaine (Die Hards) Also has a death wish.

~ Charlie Wax (From Paris with Love) He's crazy so that helps, and will make that call when needed.

~ Mike Lowery (Bad Boys) - Not afraid to shoot first to get his answers.

~ Bryan Mills (Taken) - He has skills that makes him a nightmare for everyone.

~ Stewie Griffin (Family Guy) - We can use his arsenal.

These can be our back up guys...

 ~ Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones) - I disagree, this one is for Mike.
~ John Doe (Se7en) - Also for Mike.
~ Det. Elliot Stabler (Law & Order SVU) - He has a crazy side...But he also plays a crazy character in Oz that I think would be better.
~ Tobias Beecher (Oz) - Definately after he lost his mind. He is crazy and he will do anything.
~ John Casey (Chuck) - He likes guns and fighting.


I'm sure there is someone I missed.

No...I don't remember life before my cell phone. But thanks for asking

Why is it still shocking to people that I have my cell phone with me all the time? It is my only phone number, the only way people can call me. No home phone, hello! And how many people say "why don't you just call them instead of texting?" The simple answer, I don't want to talk to them! If I text it gets rid of the akward having to end the conversation. You can ask what you want to know and then just be done. You can just say something funny and move on. You can tell them about a party with out sending an invite in the mail.

My phone does so much more than make calls. Heck, I don't even really use it to make calls. I use it for texting, email, internet, facebook. Pretty much everything BUT calling someone. There are apps on my phone that make it a necessary part of my life now. And to think, a year ago I had just a regular cell phone. That was until The Momma and Bear bought me the Iphone for my bday. Thanks you guys :)

Now the Iphone is crapping the bed but I would never go back to anything less capable. I need my apps, I need my touch screen. I NEED IT!

There are apps that are fun, and apps that are necessary and apps that, well you get the picture.

These are my "Have to Have"...in no particular order

~ Facebook
~ MLB.com (DUH)
~ EBay
~ PayPal
~ Netflix
~ ProWrestling
~ Yahoo Music
~ Yellow Pages
~ IMDB

"Ones that are Fun"

~ Boggle
~ Scrabble
~ 3 Peak
~ Bejeweled 2

And the ones that You definately keep that come with the phone

Texting, Email, Camera, Messengers, Photos, Maps, Contacts, Google


Are there any I'm missing????

The Groundhog is a dang liar!

How can I possibly believe a ground hog? How??? He was only able to even get out through the hole because people were nice enough to shovel the snow!!! I believe nothing he says. Spring comes the same time each year. It's just a date, the weather may or may not co-operate. This year, who the heck knows what's going to happen. 

See what all this weather is doing? It's making people angry and pesimistic. Not that I wasn't like that before, but others weren't and they are now. And you can't even try to be optimistic because as soon as you do, here comes another freaking storm! 

So bundle up, get out the sleds. Make sure you have a shovel, de-icer is a good idea. Stock up on soup. Apologize in advance to your love ones for how bitchy you have been and how bitchy you are going to be. The next month forecast ain't looking too bright! 

 

Another Day...Another 17 Feet of SNOW!

I'm really starting to get tired of this snow. Don't get me wrong, I was tired of it like 4 weeks ago. But at this point, you really can't blame all those people in your lives that ran away to warmer climate. You can only do what I do, hope that there is a miracle and a freak storm hits their part of the country and disrupts the crap out of their lives because you know those states are sure as heck not ready for the garbage that's been thrown at us. For the love of all things holy, we aren't even prepared for all the white hell (or as Bear calls it "white money") that has been thrown at us. For some parents, they will be blessed with their children going to school during February vacation and a little longer in the summer.

Unfortunately, this weather started creating havoc in my life on December 27th, 2010. A day I most certainly will never forget. And the situation is still not solved. Before that fateful day, weather was never an issue for me getting to and home from work. When I was married (that's another blog for another day!) my ex-husband would have me drive his truck on days like this. It had studded tires on it so as long as you went slow and steady, you would get where you needed to go. He would get a ride with a friend. When I made the decision to leave in 2009 I knew I had to trade my car in for something that I could drive all year long that would get from A to B, safely! So I got the SUV I wanted in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I know there is no perfect vehicle. I know that no matter what, you need to use your judgement, drive slow and be careful. Anything can happen. But it got me everywhere I needed to go and then some. 

On this particular day, I left for work. It was snowing like a bad word. But I was ready. Driving slow, no one was on the road. I knew I was in for a long commute, heck on a normal day I drive atleast an hour. I get to a point on 63 where a street has a stop sign to enter the road I'm traveling on. And as my luck would have it, no one is on the road, but a STATE TROOPER! Who is coming down that one street, to that one stop sign and guess what??? She can't stop at the stop sign and goes right across the road, right in front of me. So there we are ladies and gents...a loverly little accident. 

It was a mess, but fortunately we were both okay for the most part. Both went to the hospital. I had a hematoma (sp?) that was on my chest from the seat belt. Took about a month to go away. I still get pain there. My car is just about ready. $8,000 in damage. FUN FUN FUN. And we will be going to court because they aren't claiming fault. So, I lost time at work, no payment for medical bills, damage to my car, obviously and so on. And when you are missing time because you are hurt and then because of weather and you don't have the appropriate car to drive, you can only image the financial issues that creates. So we are hanging in there. It can only get better right???

I thought 2009 was gonna get better after I left my ex. I did get my own place. And I was technically out of the marriage. So it didn't get worse. But it wasn't necessarily better.

I thought 2010 HAS got to better. The divorce finally went through. But I turned 30. I ended up being in an abusive relationship. But got much closer to Bear (love you). Found the love of my life (Michael <3). And then I got into the horrible accident at the end of the year. So it wasn't necessarily better.

So then I think 2011 had to better, but now I'm gonna go with 2011 can't be worse. I think that is a better way to go for right now. It's only February 1 and I'm still dealing with the accident. Don't have my SUV back. Still not out of the money hole from the accident. My job seems to be good. We should all be moving into private offices later this year (we will see). But we have already lost 9 residents since January 1. So here's to hoping!